Only a Matter of Time
by Francislovesyaoi
Summary: Ivan can no longer handle the bullying and gossip that plague him, and he snaps. germany helps him recover. gerrus, AU, sad!russia nice!germany human names used
1. Chapter 1

Matter of Time chap one

It was time for another day, as Ivan sat up in his bed. He got up and put on his

clothes, a baggy brown button up shirt with khaki trousers tucked into his brown

leather bootlegs. He threw on his overcoat and his beloved scarf before checking

himself over.

'No injuries are showing, so I'm ready for another agonizing day.' Ivan then

snapped back into reality, as he had gotten lost inside his mind.

He walked out of his real cherry wood doorway, and down to the meeting room,

which had a large table, covered in cloth and doilies for all the other nations

to be seated at. He then took his solitary seat, all others being at least one

space away, so that no one was forced to sit near the 'scary and merciless'

Russia. Ivan sighed, as his depression had been taking its toll lately.

He had not been eating, and his clothes began to grow saggy on his emaciated

body. He wore his formless overcoat to hide the fact. No one but him was

informed of this knowledge.

The other nations began to fill in, America being the last. Everyone rolled

their eyes as Alfred adjusted the microphone, anticipating another stupid idea.

The chatter that the extravagant room was immersed in died down as Alfred began

his ridiculous banter.

The meeting had ended, and Ivan was feeling more pained than normal. His

heart ached, his eyes watered, and his face dimmed. It seemed as if he could

bathe the whole room he was in, his bedroom, in a catatonically depressing and

forlorn aura. Ivan didn't feel like talking to anyone, he was too sad.

Ivan didn't know what to do as his crimson blood slithered out of his arm to

the floor. He had a habit if slicing his skin whenever he got distressed, for it

calmed him. Apparently Ivan had cut too deep and was now bleeding profusely, and

he couldn't stem the flow. His self-inflicted wound bled and bled, and after a

bit, Ivan hit the wooden floor with a loud thud. The only one to look and see

what happened was Germany, who was shocked and astounded at what he saw. Ludwig

looked Ivan over, and noticed two long slits on his left forearm.

"Why would you do this, Ivan?" The German muttered to himself. Ludwig picked

Ivan up, which was slightly difficult, as Ivan was still bigger than him,

despite his lost appetite. Ludwig then took the Russian to his car, and buckled

him in. He drove to the emergency ward and hauled Ivan in with him. The

receptionist took his request, and Ivan was soon on a gurney being wheeled into

the intensive care unit. Ludwig followed the doctors into the room, waiting for

them to examine Ivan and take all his vitals. One doctor knew that Ivan needed a

blood transfusion, and requested the supplies to do it.

"Your friend here has lost a critical amount of blood. We're giving him more

though, so he should be okay. Did he do this to himself, or was it assault?" The

one doctor, Jeremy, asked. "He did this, but I have no clue why he would. He may

be depressed, because I've seen everybody bully him and treat him like a

psycho." Ludwig replied.

"Maybe he might need some counseling to get things straightened out. If he

doesn't stop, he will have to go to the psychiatric unit." Jeremy warned. The

doctors hooked up an intravenous unit to Ivan's wrist, supplying his body with

blood. Ivan was still passed out, his body too exhausted to wake up.

After a few days, Ivan was out of the hospital. Ludwig kept a close watch on

him, as he did not want Ivan in a mental ward. Ludwig knew how terrible those

places were, how horrible they treated patients. Tying people up like inhuman

beasts, and doping them up so much they could barely walk. So Ludwig decided to pretty much be Ivan's counselor. He went downstairs, finding Ivan on the couch crying. He went to see what the problem was, and Ivan nearly lashed out at him. After he realized it was just Ludwig, he calmed down, allowing Ludwig to talk to him. "What are you crying for?" Ludwig questioned. "Everybody hates me, and nobody wants to be my friend!"

Ivan then piled into Ludwig's arms, screaming and crying. He began to calm down after a while, and Ludwig began to speak. "I will be your friend, I like you for who you are." Ivan's eyes widened. "Oh, thank you so much! You have NO idea how much that means to me! Nobody loved me, and nobody ever cared about me! All the rumors people spread about me are lies, I am not a psycho who will bash your head in."

Later, Ludwig decided to make some supper. He made beef stew, with carrots and celery. Ivan came downstairs, smelling the delicious concoction. "I made beef stew, if you like it you can eat some if you want." Ludwig invited. "Oh no thanks, I'm not hungry…" Ivan fibbed. "Don't you dare say you're not hungry, because I know it's a lie! Your clothes have gotten saggy, and your cheeks have sunken in! I know what's going on!" Ludwig scolded.

Later that evening, after Ludwig unceremoniously forced Ivan to eat, he had been thinking. 'Am I really committed to this? I bet it'll be hard, but it's for Ivan's good.' He jumped, as there was a loud knocking on his door. "Yes? Come in." Ludwig shouted. It was Ivan, not surprisingly. "Hey, Ludwig, can I talk to you about something?" Ivan asked. "Why not?" Ludwig said. "I've been extremely depressed lately, and that's why I cut myself… It felt like a release of pain with every drop of blood spilling out of me, and I didn't know how to stop. I'm sorry I caused you all this worry, I thought nobody would find out about it."

Ludwig's expression softened. He never knew Ivan was in so much pain, he did too well hiding it all. Ludwig never expected all of the drama that was going on presently. "I came to see you because I felt like doing it again…" Ivan started crying on Ludwig, who just sat there on his bed and held Ivan. It produced an aching in his heart that he could not explain. It hurt Ludwig to see Ivan like that, and he was determined to make him happy again somehow.

"Ludwig… I'm not sure what to do… I just feel so sad inside, it's like someone took my heart and ripped it to shreds…" Ivan vented. Ludwig was not sure what to do, as he was never good at emotional stuff. Ivan was soon finished, and bid Ludwig adieu. But the event didn't end for Ludwig. 'I wish I could make him happy, but nobody else cares…' Ludwig was so deep in thought that his ramblings blocked out the loud noise from outside.

END CHAPTER


	2. Chapter 2

Ch 2

A.N. sorry about the bizarre formatting, word screwed it up and I couldn't fix it. Here is your new chapter of angsty deliciousness, bon appétit! Ps featured pairings are usuk, rusger, and franita

Ludwig woke from his slumber, toes landing on his grey carpet. He got dressed and slicked back his hair. After he did that he put on his uniform, and headed downstairs. He got out pancake mix, and dumped it in a mixing bowl. Ludwig mixed it up, and poured it in his pan, waiting as the fluffy food cooked. When it was done, Ludwig scooped it out of the pan and put it on a plate. He chowed down on the cooked batter treat, almost shoving it down his throat. There was an emergency meeting, about the loud crash that occurred the previous night and what caused it. He ran out the door, as fast as his feet could carry him.

Ludwig noticed when he sat down, everybody was just about panicking. The others took their spots, and one thing he could not take his eyes off of was Alfred's expression. He actually looked serious, not foolish and stupid like usual. Everyone shut up when he began to speak."Last night, some of us heard a crash. We don't know what happened, but I think someone broke into the house. It was about 10 pm when it happened."

"Can I say something?" Feliciano yelled. Alfred said yes." Maybe it was a fairy? Or a kitty?" Italy blathered. Arthur rubbed his forehead in irritation. "Can we please suggest something that actually makes some fucking sense? The stupid git doesn't know a thing about it!" Arthur commented. "You're right, but you don't have to be mean to the guy!" Alfred scolded. "Speak for yourself. At least I have the decency to not eat hamburgers while we have an important topic to discuss!"Arthur retorted. Alfred had no comment, England had won. He shut up and stuffed the fatty, beefy treat back into the wrapper sheepishly before continuing. "I think we should set up some cameras!" Italy interjected.

It turns out that pretty much everybody agreed with the adorably oblivious Italian. Ludwig took on the job of setting cameras on the house corners, and his brother Gilbert put up the ones on the balcony. Then Gilbert took the audio/visual cables and led them all to an old closet. Said old closet was cleaned out and made into a miniature office, for the surveillance cameras. There were eleven inch-by-12 inch screens stacked upon one another, sitting on an old desk, and each had its on camera to display video from. He hooked all the cables into their respective places, and the deed was done. There were about ten cameras in total protecting the property.

Everybody helped with the process of cleaning up, though there was very little to finish. When it all was said and done, Ludwig sat in his leather lounge chair and sighed. He pondered on what could've made the late night racket discussed in the meeting. 'Italy had a plausible explanation. Heracles' cats roaming everywhere are bound to make some kind of clatter…' The thinking German decided he would think about it the next day.

Meanwhile, Gilbert was in the kitchen, rambling on about his 'awesome' cooking skills. Ludwig was nearby, and didn't think they were too good when smoke started spewing from the doorway and Gilbert started screaming bloody murder. "MY WURST! Noooo, you were so awesome, my little wursties..." Ludwig had to laugh as Gilbert got upset over his burnt wurst. So much for awesome cooking skills…

Francis came in, smelling the charred atrocity, and decided to take over. Gilbert was enthralled as the French man flew through the spices and treated his meat choice, chicken, with utmost dignity. "Haha, the awesome French dude is pampering dinner!" Gilbert chortled' as he watched the absolutely scrumptious looking dinner be served. He gawped at what he saw; Two chicken breasts grilled to absolute perfection, with berries scattered all around, in a broth-based sauce.

"No way, man! This could not have come from a simple cast iron skillet!" Gilbert doubted. "But ah, you are incorrect, monsieur. It most certainly can." Francis retorted. He laughed that unique laugh, strutting out of the stone archway with a smug grin on his stubbly face. Gilbert just sat there and chowed down, not caring who saw it. Ludwig walked in, wanting some supper himself, and looked. Surprisingly, a plate was situated at his spot as well, still steaming. He didn't expect there to be food for him, no one usually cooked for the robust man.

"Oh, eh eft ouh a ate oo." The ill-mannered German said, mouth stuffed full of chicken. Ludwig shook his head, he never understood why his older brother would be so immature at times. He just smiled, it was his brother. "Yes, I see that." He chuckled. Ludwig sat, observing the food before him. 'Francis must have made this…' He thought. He ate his food and left, wondering where Ivan had gone off to. He hadn't seen the burly Russian all day now…

Ludwig could not get any sleep. he lay in his bed, thinking incessantly. 'I can't seem to think of where Ivan may have gone off to… The last time I saw him was before we went to bed…' Ludwig pondered. He jumped as a British man opened his door and walked into the dark room. "Hey, Ludwig. You're not the only one to notice Ivan's disappearance. Alfred has been complaining to me about how his buddy is gone, and he doesn't know where he ran off to." Arthur spoke. "I didn't really know what to tell him, because I did not want to hurt the poor guy." He continued. "I can understand where you come from, I would care too." Ludwig agreed.

"I just can't shake the feeling that something has happened to him. I'm not a psychic, but it just won't leave my mind…" The Brit trailed off. "It seems as though we are the only ones who care, which isn't right. It's mean and hateful to not even care when someone goes missing." Ludwig replied. Nobody knew it, but he secretly was madly in love with the disliked Russian.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch 3

The sunlight streaked right across Ludwig's closed eyes, slowly but surely waking him from his slumber. He tossed over, shoving his head under his fluffy pillow. The German pulled his head from its cave, wincing at the light that came surging into his irises. After a bit, Ludwig got used to it and got dressed. He took care of business, and brushed his teeth and hair. He then went downstairs and ate some leftovers for breakfast. When he finished, he sped off to the meeting room, the first one there other than England.

Germany hoped Alfred would actually say something important, and boy, he did. "I'm sorry anybody who actually cared about the fat Russian guy, but he was kidnapped that night. I had someone venture into his room, and the window was shattered. There was also evidence of trying to escape, one of his bedposts were broken." Alfred announced. Ludwig's eyes grew wide, and he ran away in a flash. 'I have to find Ivan, I have to!' He franticly thought. He ran down the halls, thinking of all the people who could have done it. Then he came across one key girl. Belarus. She had been unhealthily obsessed with her younger brother for years, and now it all clicked in Ludwig's mind.

'But why would she do it?' He questioned. Ludwig only knew a certain amount of information on where the ruthless vixen lived. It was in Belarus, somewhere near Russia, he knew that. Later, Germany found out that the city she lived in was Minsk. He knew Katyusha was present, so he'd have to ask her about where Natalia lived. "Hey, I need to ask you about something. What is Natalia's address?" Ludwig asked.

"573 Polzhista road. It's in a remote area, and it's a big white house." Katyusha answered. Ludwig thanked her and ran off to find the road on a map. It was in a very rural area, and there was only three other houses on the road, which was actually pretty long. He then looked for flights to Belarus, and found one. It was on a middle class plane with crappy service, but it would suffice. Ludwig then booked the flight, planning out how he would get to his destination. The airport was right in the city he needed, so he could just get a shuttle to transport him there.

He began packing, and Feliciano came walking into his room. "Why are you packing? Are you going on a vacation? If you are I wanna come!" The oblivious Italian rambled on. "No, Italy. I'm not going on vacation. I have important business to take care of." Ludwig replied. The other left, and Ludwig resumed his packing. The plane was due to leave the next day, so he was lucky to have booked it just in time.

Ludwig was a little anxious about his endeavor, but he reminded himself who it was for. 'I love him, and I need to get him back… who knows what his lunatic sister could have done to him by now?' Ludwig thought fearfully. His one special someone, Ivan, had been ripped away from him. Ludwig was sure to avenge Ivan's trauma, and he'd never forgive Natalia of her fatal mistake.

While Ludwig was stuck in his thoughts, a certain bouncy happy Italian came into his dimly lit room. "Hey, Ludwig. What's wrong? You haven't been yourself lately, and I have noticed that. Is it because of the kidnapping?" Feliciano inquired. Ludwig twitched as he was dragged out of the dark, unforgiving chasm of his thoughts. "Yes, I can't seem to get Ivan out of my head… he's always in my thoughts, and I can't seem to shake it." Ludwig replied.

"Well, that's what happens when you fall in love. You can't stop thinking of the person, when you get near them you get all nervous, and there are many other things that occur when one is in love." The Italian explained. Ludwig dragged his palm down his tired, worn-out face, and sighed. He knew that his love was unrequited, and the fact made his eyes water with disheartenment. He tried, oh how hard he tried, not to let the salty product of depression slide down his face. Sadly, his efforts failed, and it did.

Feliciano's lip corners turned down as he saw how distraught his best friend was feeling. 'I wish I could help him feel better, but he won't until he gets Ivan back.' He was also sad for another reason, lately he had been bullied. Not the usual picking, but real, hurtful words and actions. Just earlier in the week, Arthur had declared Feliciano stupid. It wasn't the playful, 'duuuhhh' stupid, but the actual intellectually lacking stupid. He knew that he wasn't the shiniest gem of the bunch, but he was worth something.

The group had been leaving him out of the discussions and meetings, saying that he was 'of no importance to the mission'. When they did that, it also angered Ludwig, since he knew Feliciano could help in his own special way. Ludwig never said much about it though, since it couldn't be stopped.

Feliciano hugged his sobbing buddy, said goodnight, and left. It was late, and Ludwig had a big day to prepare for tomorrow. As Ludwig went into the bathroom, he splashed water on his face to clean off his tears. He stripped and got in the shower, still thinking about how he would get Ivan back. The hot water helped clear his thoughts, it helped make the world around him seem more peaceful. He stepped out when he finished, and went into his room. Ludwig pulled on some black boxers and a t-shirt as pajamas.

He went downstairs for a drink, and as he went into his kitchen, something didn't feel right. He had an overwhelming sense of dread for Ivan's safety, and this was different. It felt as though Ivan had tried to talk to him through his mind. 'Ludwig, I think you're going crazy…' He thought. Ludwig pulled out a little bottle of juice and started to drink some. He went back upstairs after putting the bottle back, and went into his bedroom. He climbed into bed, settling in under his plush comforter. As Ludwig fell asleep, his dream began to play out.

Ivan was chained to a wall, bruised, beaten, and naked. Ludwig was close to him, but he was at the same time so far away. Natalia stood by Ivan, burning holes into his skin with a hot metal rod. Ivan just sat there, taking it with little more than a twitch and a whimper. Ludwig began to run towards the horrific scene, aiming to kill Natalia and save Ivan from her psychotic games.

The further Ludwig ran, Ivan and Natalia just slid away from him. He was so close one minute, then the next he was sprinting to catch up to them. Then something astonishing happened. They stopped moving, and Ludwig was finally able to catch up with them. He took a gun out of nowhere, and shot with all his soul at Natalia's form. She burst into a plethora of black moths, flying out in all directions. Behind them was Ivan, safe and clothed and free of harm. Ivan took a few small steps towards Ludwig, and whispered in his ear. "I am grateful, you are my savior." Ludwig was taken aback, since he never had expected that to come from Ivan's lips.

Suddenly, the floor Ludwig had his trembling feet planted on was no longer there. Ludwig plunged into the freezing darkness, fearful as he went down. The fall was endless, and for some reason he was devastated that Ivan was not accompanying him in the descent. "IVAN!" Ludwig wailed, as he bolted up in his bed.


	4. Chapter 4

The dream Ludwig had startled him, and it shook all of his senses. He sighed as he remembered the anguished look on Ivan's face when he fell. Ludwig was heartbroken at the fact that Ivan's own SISTER kidnapped him; as well as the fact that nobody really cared and only did it out of perceived obligation. The frazzled German walked to the bathroom to wash the crusty tears off of his cheeks, and grab a drink. As he padded over to the vanity sink, he noticed the mauve circles that bordered his eyes.

The past few days had been hard on Ludwig, and luckily he had Feliciano to help. The childish Italian was always there to listen to Ludwig's worries, and even had shared tears with his companion. Right now was one of those times that Ludwig wished Feliciano was here for, and Ludwig was stricken with grief.

It's not that the Italian was dead or anything, but Ludwig was really in need of his friendly love at that moment. So the German got up to go see him, even if he was sleeping. As he walked down the long hallway, he approached Feliciano's door. The door was simple red cedar, with little drawings of pasta dishes taped to the front.

Ludwig knocked on the solid piece of wood, and to his happiness Feliciano answered. "Si, Ludwig. What do you need?" Feliciano asked, while simultaneously rubbing an amber eye. Ludwig walked into his cathedral-styled room, the architecture reminiscent of roman artwork. "I had this dream… It was very scary," He answered.

Then Ludwig proceeded to explain the whole dream to Feliciano, and the Italian held his pointy chin in inquisition. "I think this dream had a special message, Ludwig. It might be telling you that this journey you are taking is more difficult than you think." Feliciano commented with confidence.

"Great, I just loved to hear that," the German sarcastically remarked. "It's not like I already have difficulties to deal with right now."

"Well, I'd suggest that you be careful in Belarus tomorrow, you never know if Natalia will just jump out and kill you!" the Italian giggled. Ludwig appreciated how Feliciano tried to cheer him up, and it always worked. Though, there was some truth to Feliciano's joke, the psycho could just kill him in an instant…

"I just… don't know what to do! I mean, I'm glad that everyone's helping and all, but it all seems superficial. It doesn't feel heartfelt and genuine." Ludwig replied. "I can feel it too. It's like everyone's only doing something to not seem like a heartless asshole." Feli agreed.

It had been into the hours of the brighter morning that the two spoke, and Feliciano was exhausted. "Ve… I'm tired… I'll see you later Luddy." He stated. "Ja, I'm tired as well…" The German punctuated with a yawn.

After goodbyes, Ludwig was headed back to his home. He couldn't go back to sleep, because this dream he had put his mind into a fitful state of unrest. He settled for sitting in a chair, and simply thinking. His mind went through all his emotions, ideas, and thoughts on the whole situation. He loved Ivan so much… he couldn't be at ease knowing he was at some place, being hurt by someone.

His mind was slowly driving him insane. So many thoughts in his head at one time tends to do that. If this stupid love wasn't in his way, maybe he could organize his mind. He looked to the clock, seeing that it was now 7:34 AM. Two hours since he had been awoken by the disturbing dream.

Ludwig decided to start his day, since he obviously was done sleeping. He drug himself into the kitchen, grabbing a tuna sandwich. Chewing on the nutritional object, he finished and decided to start heading to Belarus today. He went back into his room, and began throwing more items into his duffel bags and such.

Just as he began getting lost in his thoughts, an unexpected visitor had barged in. Alfred waltzed into Ludwig's space, and questioned what he was doing. "I'm packing, isn't it obvious?" Ludwig answered. "Yeah, I know that much, but _why_ are you packing?" Alfred retorted. A vein in Ludwig's temple inflated, and he was getting very annoyed. "Is it any of your fucking BUSINESS WHY I'M PACKING?! You don't even care about it so I don't have to tell you!" Ludwig snapped. "Jeez, are you PMSing or something?" Alfred quipped. "Argh… just go away and shut the fuck up." Ludwig responded.

"Okay, jeez… I was just trying to be the hero and help…" Alfred stated as he left. 'God I can't stand him…' Ludwig thought with a huff. The German resumed packing, and resumed thinking as well. 'I can't take the thought of somebody hurting him… Hurting his beautiful face… putting marks on 'that perfect body… Good lord I sound like a fucking teenage girl!' Ludwig then grumbled as his pants had tightened in that little heated thought. 'Argh I am too worried and depressed to even do that right now…' He reasoned. The little predicament had subsided, and he was back to work.

He was stacking papers, browsing plane tickets, and all sorts of things. He didn't need much in the way of flight, just something to get him there. The cheapest was about $300, so he booked that flight. It was due to leave at 8:00 PM that night. A good time, as everyone would be retiring or getting ready to retire for the night.

Once that was taken care of, Ludwig took a moment to relax. He strolled out to his backyard garden, which was very extravagant. It had a variety of perennials, like mums, roses, and all sorts of others. He came across his section of irises, and felt an ache in his heart. The Siberian irises reminded him of Ivan's homeland, and their color reminded Ludwig of his crystalline, cherubic, lavender eyes.

Eyes that he would get lost in; Eyes that could possibly have been gouged out by now. Ludwig shook off the perturbingly sad thought, and carried on his way. It was around 2:00 now, and soon would be a little meeting. When the time came, Ludwig was so heartbroken that the time flew by with only a slight amount of response.

After the meeting was done, two hours had gone by. He decided to tell Feliciano what he was doing tonight, and have a little special time together for goodbyes. He walked to the Italian's homestead, and rang the doorbell. The peppy man appeared, and invited Ludwig in. "Hey, Feli? Do you remember that night when you came and asked me where I was packing for? Well I wanted to tell you that I'm headed to Belarus to look for Ivan." Ludwig confessed. "Aww! That's so romantically heroic! But, what'll happen to you?" Feliciano asked.

" I don't know, but I am leaving at 7 o'clock tonight for the airport. We should make this time special, because I possibly could not come back for a very long time." Ludwig replied. The two made use of their time, Feliciano made them pasta and they watched a movie. When 7:00 came, they hugged warmly and said their farewells. "Good luck Ludwig! Bring Ivan back for both of us!" Feli said. "I'll try, be safe my friend." Then Ludwig was off for the airport.

A/N: SOOOOOOO SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED! I've had an ultra busy summer. ill be getting tonsils out, i went to camp, saw my best friend a lot. I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN YOOOOOU! PS THANX PYRAMIDHEAD2012 FOR FOLLOWING AND THANX TO ALL WHO FOLLOWED/ REVIEWED!


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